Social distancing for the sake of the nation’s health, or because one’s bathing arrangements require attention?
We at the Barder Rod Co have a plan to help you do better than old Albert Steptoe.
We’re very fortunate to have a dedicated team of fully tested Personal Daintiness People to attend to us each morning.
We realise that many of you aren’t so lucky. Sequestered at home without a routine, it’s understandable if you’ve gone a bit feral.
You need a sense of purpose, something to get stuck into. You can’t make your own split cane rod or service the Bentley, but with a few simple tools and some plywood you can make yourself the snappily named-
‘THE SPORTSMAN’S TRAVELLING COUCH HOT AIR BATH’ (Mr Pennell’s patent)
As you can see, this indispensible item is simple to make and operate. Its use will not only cleanse you and restore the inner man (or woman -you may be a woman), it will ease your sore back and free you from gout. My friend the Old Abbot of St Edward’s is a martyr to the latter and enjoys carpentry, so this may be his salvation.
To find out more, go to your copy of Harry Cholmondley-Pennell’s magnificent PIKE & COARSE FISH -page 442 in my copy, which is the 9th edition of 1909. My Mum gave it to my Dad, with all her love, on the 19th of August 1963. They’re still married!
Send me a picture of yours, vacant or occupied, and I will award a prize to the one that our panel of experts decide is the best (the exact nature of the prize will be announced in my next email).
It’s nearly time to start my shift at Mill so I’d better get cracking and so had you, with your deal board, Stanley № 5½ Bailey plane and brass screws.
Until next time, stay well and look after yourselves,
Edward Barder and Colin Whitehouse
Still very much operational, available via phone and email, not breaking the law or endangering the health of others or themselves!
Late Victorian saunas are being built all over the country as I type this. I’m now officially an ‘influencer’. God help us.